‘Respect, trust and care are non-negotiable in a marriage’
People today are at a phase where relationships fail in front of the modern-day challenges. However, in contrast, there are Anup Kumar Roy Choudhury and Lata Roy Choudhury, who set an inspiring example of how relationships are kept alive.
ROUSHAN CHATTERJEE | Kolkata | November 18, 2024 1:13 pm
People today are at a phase where relationships fail in front of the modern-day challenges. However, in contrast, there are Anup Kumar Roy Choudhury and Lata Roy Choudhury, who set an inspiring example of how relationships are kept alive. Married on 12 July 1976, the couple has spent 48 years together overcoming numerous problems and unexpected trials.
Anup was a government employee in the Indian Railways, for which he had a transfer every now and then. After their marriage, Lata had to shift to Assam from Kolkata due to Anup’s posting. The couple had to move across districts, starting from Bongaigaon, a small town in Assam. Later they shifted to Lumding, another small town in Assam. Finally they moved to Guwahati, where they lived until Anup’s retirement. After his retirement, they shifted to Kolkata.
Anup’s job required frequent transfers. As a result, when in Guwahati, the couple decided that their son and daughter, who were growing up, should not change their schools so frequently. Finally, Lata stayed back in Guwahati with the children while Anup travelled to remote places for work. “There were times when I had to take care of the children alone,” said Lata Roy Choudhury. Despite the problems, she understood the situation and stood firm in her commitment. “A strong relationship requires compromise. I stood by him because it was necessary for his work.”
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Their journey was not without struggle. In 2002, Anup had a serious liver condition for which he had to be hospitalised for 21 days in Bombay. Due to his illness, Lata also went to Bombay with him. “That period was tough for us as our children were still in school,” recalled Anup. “Our colleagues, neighbours and relatives took care of them at that time.”
Another problem was coming to a new city. Lata shared, “We were in a new city, dealing with language barriers, and I had to handle everything solely—from speaking to doctors and nurses to daily arrangements.” Lata also remembered how her husband supported her during those tough situations. “Despite being unwell, he constantly supported me. We faced it together, and that’s what got us through.”
Earlier in 2009, Anup was diagnosed with prostate cancer, another life-changing event. “I felt weak at that time as it was cancer. But my wife stood as a pillar of strength, helping me to regain my willpower,” said Anup. He underwent chemotherapies and operations with his wife by his side, ultimately recovering and coming back to normal life.
According to Anup and Lata, the secret to their long-lasting relationship lies in shared values. “Respect, trust and care are things that are non-negotiable. These principles are not taken seriously in today’s world,” shared Lata. Anup agreed with Lata and praised her ability to adapt. “She adjusted so well after marriage, even though she had to leave her family in Kolkata. Her friendly nature helped to connect with people wherever we went. That’s one quality I’ve always admired,” said Anup.
Reflecting on their 48 years of togetherness, Lata claimed, “Marriage is not just about one person. Both the partners have to sacrifice and adjust for a strong and healthy relationship.”
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