Boy meets girl, they text, they go on a first date, slowly fall in love, and the rest is ‘history’. Now, go back in history to the 1960s and imagine the same scenario—impossible, we say. In an age where girls were married off even before they had turned into adults or when selecting your own partner was nothing less than a daunting adventure, let alone being able to get approval and consent from your parents even when you had committed the challenging task, love that would eventually evolve into marriage and stand the test of time were difficult to find. But although difficult, it wasn’t impossible, and that’s exactly what Santosh Kumar Bera and Shefali Bera have proven, completing almost 55 years of married life.
Now a retired individual, Santosh Kumar Bera used to work in the health department, and while trying to find accommodation, he saw his wife for the first time. “Her family used to live just beside my rental accommodation, and that’s when I first saw her. She was beautiful, and that’s when I fell for her.”
Eventually getting married on 20 October 1970, the journey wasn’t an easy one for both of them. Being in a profession that required one to shift from one place to another, the two often spent days apart. “I used to travel home during the weekends and occasions to be with my family,” said Santosh Kumar Bera.
How do you think your marriage has evolved over the years? “When it comes to a marriage, nobody is perfect; nothing is perfect. Life manifests in myriad ways, and marriage for once is a union of two souls for the realisation of their highest good. Married life should evolve with this view in mind. When it comes to marriage, I feel patience and transparency are what make a bond strong and worth fighting for. For me personally, self-sacrifice and self-restraint are two very crucial factors that I believe make a marriage extremely durable, and that is what has helped me sustain my marriage of more than 50 years. Differences of opinion will always be there, but how you evolve through it is the real game. When it comes to a marriage, a superficial attitude is a great hindrance towards leading a healthy married life,” said Santosh Kumar Bera, to which his wife Shefali Bera added, “When it comes to marriage, your first instinct should always be to figure out a solution and never let the issue simmer. Mutual love and respect is what makes it healthy and successful.”
Woes and wellness, success and failure are a part of life, and both believe that the cornerstone of any good marriage lies in fidelity and trust and are two crucial factors that will help navigate the maze of marriage.