“Everything I Wasn’t”

The edifice of my earliest memory stands on my whimsical excuse of career options, which is more erratic than the monsoon in Kolkata. Whether it was to be a doctor by day or a homicide detective by night, I was painting pictures far beyond my ability and, not to mention reality. When I ultimately couldn’t decide, I chose to do the most heroic thing. I took up science in class 11. While everyone was in a race to become either an engineer or doctor, I was chasing the dream of being an archaeologist, scurrying and digging around in the dusky terrains of Central India. I could never attune my crazy mind to the horror of a fixed routine of a nine-to-five working life. Maybe that’s why I never belonged with the crowd. On one side, while there were bona fide achievers who lived and breathed physics while fanning themselves with their distinction certificate in chemistry, on the other side, there was me, dreaming of digging old sites. The stench of fake intellectualism suffocated me. I was desperate for a creative outlet and most definitely, integrated calculus did not serve any purpose. That’s when writing hit me like a ray of sunbeam, and I let myself get blinded by it. Writing let me take a deep dive into my soul and navigate the parts of me that were still thrumming with despair and hope. While my father continued to sing eulogies of that ideal job with fantastic remuneration, I found myself in the middle, writing stories and blooming into my own. That’s why I aspire to be a senior editor so that I can continue to find myself in someone else’s anecdotes and resonate with their stories like the plucked strings of a harp.

–TRICIA BHATTACHARYA

Sailing against the tides

I am just like the millions of us on this earth who have not decided

what they will end up being for the rest of their lives. Currently, I

am nobody but someone who is seeking to be unique. Not having made up my mind about my career does not mean that I have no dreams! As a matter of fact, I have more dreams than you could imagine. I am not without ambitions; I am just sceptical.

I am scared of ending up on a career path that I have to stick with

forever, which might not have any flexibility. I know that if there is

a will, there is a way, but I just don’t seem to find it.

I have always wanted to be an entrepreneur and build something of my own in which I could take pride. And the freedom you get, the creativity

that prospers when you don’t work under someone, and the biggest of

all, who does not love money? Money gives you the freedom to do a

number of things.

Now, being in the 12th standard, I would like not to regret choosing

humanities. I chose humanities because the world and its humane side

really got a grip on me. Now, with the subjects that I have chosen, my

probable career is pursuing psychology, specifically forensic psychology. But the only thing that lies heavy on me is, what if I am not able to proceed with the idea of having my own business? I cannot live with the regret of not giving the inner child in me a chance to prove

herself to the world. I cannot bear the thought of her threatened and

hushed. I wish I had gone for career counselling earlier so at least I

would have had an appropriate plan on how to go about achieving my dreams.

I am indecisive because I want to be able to do everything and

experience everything all at once, for at the end of the day, we have

only got one life, haven’t we? So I can’t really choose, but I am

afraid I have to as this society clips the wings of those who wish to

fly high and dominate the sky.

I am also scared that I might choose something just to find that it does

not match my expectations. Unlike many of us, some of us would like to

go beyond, to lead a life of our own and not be pressured by our

parents. As soon as we grow older, we realise that the real villain

has always been society, and our parents are simply the victims of it.

All my life has been trying to fit in, but for now, I wish to be as

different as possible. I am on my way to sail against the tides.

-NAISHA

I don’t want to grow up!

Sometimes a doctor, sometimes a dancer, but always a dreamer.

The first time someone asked me about my career, I probably said, “A

grown-up”. Now that I am growing up, I am trying to get my own wish

declined. I wanted to be an astronaut after reading space

encyclopaedias.

Can I let you in on a little secret? I cancelled the idea, fearing a

black hole would engulf me. I wanted to be an actress. Well, I still

want to be one, but that is a discussion I would rather not have right

now. I wanted to be a doctor but got scared by biology, so I crossed

that one out, too.

Right now, my target is fixed, ‘engineer’. More specifically, ‘a

computer engineer’. Days blurred out by physics and chemistry textbooks.

The never-ending syllabus increases again. A new book, a new chapter,

a new concept, a few new questions, and hundreds of new doubts.

Wondering if I will change this decision too? Nope, I guess it is too

late. And when my parents ask me, “After engineering?” The different

paths confuse me with journeys I want to cover but destinations I

never want to reach. So, for now, I have left that question blank. I have

four years left to decide that. Right now, focus!