Writing has become a wonderful way for me to pass idle time during my retirement years. I write just about everything: short stories, novels, poems, opinion pieces, satires, travelogues – you name it. Ideas just float into my head and I write spontaneously. Last night, I did not sleep well and many random thoughts about life and the world went through my mind. I suddenly thought of a unique topic which could be perfect for writing an opinion piece for The Statesman. The funny thing is that when I sat down in front of my computer after breakfast to start writing, I could not remember what it was.

Was it a commentary on some recent international event or a reminiscence of some episode in my life or some unique new concept? Perhaps it was an analysis of some trivial ritual we go through. I just drew a blank. This has been happening frequently over the last couple of years. I forget names of not only people in my social circle but famous celebrities even when their images flash before my eyes. Sometimes I even forget, at least temporarily, what I had for dinner the previous night or some important tasks I was supposed to do. A much more common occurrence is forgetfulness about where I kept my keys or cell phone or where I parked my car. My only consolation is that I am not alone in this journey. Most of my classmates and others in my age group are suffering from similar ailments. It is said to be a normal part of the aging process but I worry if it is the onset of something serious like dementia or Alzheimer’s disease; it has not reached a stage serious enough for me to consult with a physician. I have kept my brain busy; I love to do crossword puzzles and play Sudoku and Solitaire.

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I do occasional tutoring of high school students in physics and mathematics which forces me to keep up my knowhow about those subjects. Naturally, I am a little disheartened that this memory loss is happening to me. According to a recent Columbia University report, ten per cent of people over the age of 65 get dementia or Alzheimer’s. I hope that I fall within the remaining 90 per cent. When I was younger, I was known among friends for my photographic memory. Whether it was some class at Presidency College, a cricket test or some Bollywood song from an old movie, I was the “go to” guy to recall all the associated names, dates, statistics and events. I could even remember my credit card numbers. My friends used to tease me by saying that the reason behind my academic achievements was my ability to memorize everything I was taught whether I understood it or not.

One of my female friends recently gave me some “brain vitamins” to regain my memory lapse. I am not sure if those pills improved my memory but I did feel a surge of creative energy. I keep seeing ads on TV for various overthe-counter pills available at drug stores which supposedly improve memory. I asked my general physician about the wisdom of taking them. My doctor responded in his usual manner, “there has been no scientific medical evidence about their effectiveness but you can take them if you feel any improvement”. I suspect that all doctors take an oath during their medical school training to utter that phrase anytime a patient brings up any alternate medicine or supplement. As I grow older, I receive information from various “senior residential communities” about their facilities. A recent trend in the amenities they offer is “memory care”.

As the name suggests the service provided is only a “care”. Memory loss is neither a reversible nor curable condition; in fact, it is a degenerative disease. The patients are kept in a secluded long-term residential facility with close supervision. They are kept busy with various recommended activities like painting, music and other artwork. In any event, it is apparently an effective sales pitch, if not to the older folks but to their children who do not want to suffer from the stress of taking care of elderly parents. It seems that we have been hearing a lot about this ailment in recent years. Is that because people are living longer or there are more “old” people in the population or more attention is being paid to their healthcare?

Is it possible that a whole class of greedy corporations are jumping in to exploit helpless people? According to a report by AARP “memory care is the fastest growing sector of the senior housing market with the number of units increasing by 84 per cent between 2013 and 2023”. I have tried to imagine scenarios if/or when I reach the point of complete memory loss. Frankly, it does not scare me as much as illnesses like cancer or heart-attack because I would remain physically healthy and not be in pain. I will be able to breathe, eat, walk, run, listen to songs, watch TV and enjoy the beauty of nature. I am sure that I will be able to think and write, perhaps not as coherently or comprehensively as in the past. I worry about getting lost because of lack of memory as well as names of friends and relatives who could help. My favorite pastime is spending a lot of time reminiscing about events and sights in my life. In fact, these trips down memory lane provide a lot of fodder for my essays and a bittersweet nostalgia. It makes me sad if I think that I will no longer be able to do that in future.

I wonder if this would be a preview of my reincarnation. When people get reincarnated, they have no memory of their past lives and they learn anew about their surroundings and how to deal with living in this universe. Is dementia going to be like that? Or, will it be a series of reincarnations because the new persona will soon forget who they are? I was talking to a good college friend who has been complaining about short-term memory loss for a while. I told him, “Why are you worried? Just take it as a preview of your reincarnation?” His answer made a deep impression on me “I do not want to lose my ability to recognize my own wife and children”.

I responded with humour to break out of this awkward conversation, “On the bright side, I can now tell you the same old jokes that I have told you in the past and get a laugh out of you again”. He did not find it amusing. I later learned that his mother suffered from dementia and could not even recognize him during her final years. That must have been a traumatic experience for him. I sincerely believe that the only way to cope with this situation is to completely and unconditionally surrender to God and let Him dictate the future. God communicates directly with our soul bypassing all the brain activities. It is no wonder that memory care facilities recommend creative activities to the patients because creative activities are our links with God. As long as I have God with me, I do not fear memory loss. (The writer, a physicist who worked in academia and industry, is a Bengali settled in America.)