“When you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” – When Harry Met Sally

Ipshita and Abhishek Halder’s story of companionship began when they were in high school. Their story of understanding and adjusting to each other’s shortcomings shows how important it is to have patience, love, and understanding, to make a marriage successful.

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Ipshita and Abhishek Halder got married on 7 December 2014, and their love and affection for each other sparked nine years ago in high school. As they graduated from school, they had to resort to a long-distance relationship for nine years, as both of them pursued higher education in different states. Even after being away from each other for almost a decade, they found ways to fill up these long separations with thoughtful gestures and clear communication. Finally, as they both settled into their careers, they decided to tie the knot and settle down with the blessings of both families.

Their initial hardships were mostly due to adjusting to each other’s family environment, and the family values and ethos in which they were both brought up. Regardless, their hardships felt easier to overcome with the help of their in-laws and parents.  As Ipshita says,” Both the in-laws were very supportive of our wedding from the time they first heard about our intentions of getting married.”

The transition from a companion to a lifetime partner was not a big hassle to adjust to, as they had been waiting for this moment. Since they had already known each other for 13 years and had been dating for nine years before getting married, there weren’t too many surprises or adjustments to make.

However, there were some points in their lives that might have left a few bruises over the years. There were small disagreements that escalated the actual situation, but they were able to talk it out and take the initiative to apologise. Abhishek says,” There weren’t many obstacles that might have changed our married life forever. The only possibility I can think of is of certain occasions when small disagreements could have snowballed into larger disputes with feelings getting hurt with each passing day. However, we were lucky enough that in all such cases, one or the other took the initiative to resolve things amicably, and as the saying goes, all’s well that ends well!”

As both of them are supportive of each other’s ambitions and career choices, making small adjustments as a working couple came naturally to them and was not considered a great hassle. This progressive and open outlook has helped the couple find success in their respective fields and has furthermore, strengthened their bond. As Abhishek says,” … due to our history of knowing each other for many years, having been in a long-distance relationship for nine years, there weren’t too many adjustments to be made just because we are a working couple.”

The couple suggests that the key to a successful marriage is to set the right expectations for each other instead of expecting way more than the person already is. It puts immense pressure on them after carrying the burden of work on their shoulders already. As they further suggest,” The single biggest advice for a successful marriage, or for that matter any relationship, is to set the right expectations for each other. This is not an easy task, as this requires a great understanding of not only your counterpart but yourself. We have seen many relationships fail due to wrong expectations being set during courtship or at the onset of the relationship, which ends up complicating things more and more as the relationship ages and some cracks start to appear. The other advice we would give is to listen to each other with intent, as in many cases a lot of people leave a lot of things unsaid, and it takes a very careful listener to notice the things left unsaid.”

The couple further proves that modern couples can juggle successful careers, carry multiple responsibilities, and personally live with great resilience and patience. They could redefine partnership, and share the burden of finances and household chores with equal ease for a successful marriage.