I was single during my first Christmas in the USA as a graduate student. A student senior to me, also of Indian origin, advised me not to go out on Christmas night because “you will only see foreign students and stray dogs”. He meant it as a joke, but his point was well taken. Nothing is open on Christmas day or night and Christmas is synonymous with family gathering. If one does not have a family one can forget about Christmas.

“What are you going to do?” I asked him. He said that his host family had invited him for dinner. Those days some American families volunteered to be “hosts” to foreign students to make them feel comfortable in a new country. I did not have a host family assigned yet. Although stores and restaurants were closed on Christmas night, the city bus service was operating. I rode on a bus making a loop around downtown.

All the Christmas lights on buildings and overhead across busy streets put a little festive spirit in my soul. I gradually learnt how to deal with blues during the holiday season. The fact that I got married helped a lot because it gave us a reason to socialise. Although we socialised primarily with other Indians, we followed the basic Christmas protocol. We threw a party and attended all the other gatherings we were invited to.

We served ham as the main entree and eggnog as one of the drinks. We put up a Christmas tree inside our house and decorated it with blinking lights and trinkets with a big star at the top. We hung a large red stocking from the tree. I learnt the two options for buying a tree: buy a live tree from a nursery or an artificial tree which often comes complete with light bulbs. The live trees are cheaper, but not reusable and disposal was a problem.

A good finishing touch in decoration is to put a wreath on the front door. While we exchanged gifts with a few close friends, we sent Christmas cards ahead of time to everyone we knew. Fortunately, these cards come in bulk packages at a low price. We displayed the cards we received on the fireplace mantle next to the tree. The number of such cards was supposedly an indication of our popularity.

One remarkable aspect of Christmas celebration is Christmas carols. It is the same dozen or two songs that are played in endless loops everywhere: stores, malls, homes, radio stations, TV stations, public places and even performed live by carollers in front of houses. I was never too fond of carols. We were invited one year by an American friend to an “old-fashioned” Christmas party. Not only were there carols and a Christmas tree, women and children were dressed in beautiful shiny satin Christmas outfits in red and dark green colour. In addition to the Christmas tree and gingerbread house, they had a display of nativity scenes showing the birth of baby Jesus in a stable.

I will never forget their preparation of taffy (chewier than toffee) from scratch – a Christmas tradition in their home. I never took advantage of the custom of kissing any girl under the mistletoe (a branch of a parasitic plant that grows on trees), typically hung as an overhead decoration. It is supposed to be a symbol of male virility and luck and happiness as well. We became more involved after our daughter was born.

Santa Claus is a magical figure for all children growing up in this country, partly because he supposedly watches if they are being naughty or nice and brings appropriate toys on Christmas Eve on his sleigh drawn by a team of reindeer. I do not know the exact connection between Santa Claus and Christmas, but it has something to do with Saint Nicholas, a fourth century Greek bishop, symbolized as “Father Christmas” for his generosity. My daughter participated in school events like singing and acting in plays.

I started listening to carols with her and liking them; I can still hear “Rudolf the red-nose reindeer…” in her baby voice. I learned to make “Frosty the snowman” with her by rolling snowballs on snow which makes them bigger. I took her ice skating. The annual ritual of placing milk and cookies for Santa in front of the fireplace (the supposed entry point of Santa) on Christmas Eve and removing them before she woke up the next morning was an exciting chore. Exchange of gifts, sitting in front of a Christmas tree with a lit fireplace and filling up the trash can with ripped up wrapping paper was the grand finale.

I will never forget the joy on her face one year when she thought Santa had brought the bicycle near the fireplace as her gift because she had been a nice girl. As my daughter grew up, the anticlimactic year was when she realized that there is no Santa Claus. Now the same tradition goes on in my daughter’s home with her children.

Driving around on Christmas Eve or Christmas night through various neighbourhoods to see lighted decorations was a delight for kids and adults alike. Some neighbourhoods in many cities are known for displaying the most dazzling display of lights. A universally popular Christmas season entertainment is watching the “Nutcracker” ballet, but I have never seen the performance. Nutcracker soldiers of various sizes are decorating items and symbolize good luck and protection – a German tradition.

My favourite place to hang around during the Christmas season is the shopping mall. Every mall has a tall Christmas tree and a make-believe Santa Claus offering to have his photograph taken with children under the tree. I love to see reactions from the kids when Santa says, “Ho Ho Ho”. “For Sale” items everywhere, aroma of new perfumes, people in nice outfits, longer store hours, more choices of merchandise and a cup of nutmeg-cinnamon flavoured coffee at Starbucks all add up to lift my spirit. Walking in the mall gives me my daily dose of exercise. ‘

If none of this sounds appealing, there is always football on TV; the “bowl” games (regional championships) of college football are all played around holidays. A “White Christmas” with lots of snowfall on roof tops and pine trees is highly desirable, but air travel during Christmas can be a nightmare if there is a snowstorm along the way. Flight delays and cancellations, increased airfares, and sold out tickets can all contribute to making holiday travel miserable. Christmas celebrations remind me of Durga Puja festivities. In both cases, family get-togethers, gift exchanges and holiday feasts are the staples.

However, Durga Puja celebrations, which are mostly religious, go on for four full days. Christmas is here just for one day plus the religious services on Christmas Eve inside a church. However, the build-up for Christmas goes on for weeks, starting as early as Halloween and lingers until the New Year. Durga Puja activities end abruptly after the immersion ceremony. From a visual perspective, idols of Maa Durga and pandals offer a variety of creative designs and decorations but all Christmas trees and Santa Clauses look basically the same.

(The writer, a physicist who worked in industry and academia, is a Bengali settled in America.)