The Statesman this week brings you the marital odyssey of Parama Roy Bardhan, an acclaimed Bharatnatyam dancer who is now a member of the UNESCO International Dance Council (CID), and her husband, Gautam Sardar, a couple still blooming and flourishing in their 11 years of togetherness.
Their journey began when they stumbled upon each other’s profiles on a matrimonial advertisement page of a renowned newspaper. Initially, for Gautam, he had the idea that to be romantically partnered with a woman like Parama would be a far-fetched dream, as the societal standards of Parama’s education, financial standing and family background were superior to his, leaving him with the impression that they were worlds apart. But love has no bounds. Even after his mother’s disapproval of Parama as his future wife, Gautam, with all his attempts, won Parama’s heart after six months of continuous back and forth discussions in convincing his parents, especially his mother.
As from Parama’s perspective, on their first meeting, Gautam was nervous yet sweet and gentle, and hence made him a suitable candidate for her groom in the arranged marriage. Parama, recalling the days of their first encounter, says, “This boy was really nervous to meet me. His smile was truthful, and he adored me with respect. He said that if we ever get married, we will try to stick together through thick and thin, no matter how tough things get. We will always be together. Those words gave me faith and reason to agree to his marriage proposal.”
“After our initial encounter, I realised that simplicity and genuineness had no connection with social status. Such is my wife, a simple and wholesome girl from Khardah, yet having no pride in her family background. We began to converse on the phone and learnt of her loss of her father and grandfather; the former passed away when she was in eighth grade and the latter a few years before we met, respectively, which forced her to put her dance career on hold and find a job right away after her B.Tech,” adds Gautam.
The couple officially became man and wife on 20 January 2013 and socially tied knots three days later, on 23 January 2013. The major challenge came to the couple post their wedding in the same year, when the wife just got enrolled in a M.Tech course and the husband got a sudden call from his company to shift to the US for work, which he took and fled miles away, leaving the wife behind as she became engrossed within her education. This distance, however, made them miss each other and equally helped them to grow within their own space and understand each other with more precision.
Parama, during her time in India without her husband, not only continued her studies but also developed remarkable culinary skills out of love for her husband, who was a true Bengali gastronome. Yet the main challenge came when she had to choose between continuing higher studies and a job in India or to leave everything and settle with her husband in the US. However, after much conflict between her mind and emotions, she decided to go abroad to give a new start to her newly married life.
In the US, they discovered themselves once again. After getting a work permit there, she initially began her job in an IT sector but gradually turned her interests to her long-lost passion of dancing, which was cornered under the toneless ups and downs of life. Today, with the support of her husband, Gautam, she is one of the recognised Bharatnatyam dancers around the world and got invited to perform in Greece last month.
Parama says, “I call my husband one of my prominent supporters when time is against me. He encouraged me not only to do a job here in the US but also to give a start to dancing all over again. Later, he also made a home studio for me with big mirrors and curtains and contacted dancing coaches to flourish my dancing skills.”
The couple reminisced about the day when their daughter was born, both declaring it as their best day of their lives together. As for Parama, she has never seen her husband so expressive before, who immediately began to dance in joy just after the doctors and nurses left.
Lastly, Gautam says, “Staying together is easy when everything is going easy, but staying together when fate is against you is the actual test. Difficulties have made our bond strong. As vowed, we have done our best to make each other’s dreams come true. For me, being there for each other through thick and thin and finding happiness together is the definition of a successful marriage.”