No marriage is perfect and no two partners are perfect. “How two imperfectly perfect individuals balance every aspect of marriage, companionship, and life is what makes it a successful marriage” is what Sanchita Saha believes in. An arranged marriage that slowly turned into love, Sanchita met Subir Saha in March 1994 in an extremely formal setup. “He was my college friend’s cousin, and when I first saw him, he seemed like a genuinely good man”, she added, to which Subir Saha included, “I felt the same way, too. You don’t really get to learn a lot when you see someone for the first time in an arranged marriage setup but meeting her, I knew she would be a good person for me.”
Getting married on 28 January 1995, between the months of their first formal meet-up and their wedding, love gradually grew as they continued writing letters to each other, three or four times a week and one STD call every 15 days just to be able to hear each other’s voice.
While every marriage evolves, what hasn’t changed is their habit of enjoying a cup of tea together every day after Subir Saha comes back from work. “I stay out of town for several days or months at a stretch due to work, but whenever I am home, we make sure that we have tea together, even if it gets a bit late. It’s not just tea time for us; that time is when we share all the little tidbits of our everyday life, discuss things and much more,” says Subir Saha, to which his wife adds, “It’s our we-time, and we cherish it. Even when he is not at home and outside, he never forgets to call me at exactly around 8:30 pm, where we both spill and discuss everything that has happened throughout the day.”
Both of them believe that transparency, respect and friendship should be at the helm of any relationship. In their family, no matter the situation or the circumstances, a roundtable discussion is essential that allows each member of the family to put forward their opinions. “I think in a relationship, just because one is older or the sole earner, that individual should not impose their decision on the others. Each member should feel valued and heard,” is what Subir Saha believes in.
Asking what they think makes a marriage last, Sanchita Saha comments, “Patience is something that will help you overcome not just the hurdle in your marriage but in life too. Transparency is, again, something that you cannot compromise on in a marriage. Love cannot last when you fail to become friends with your partner. And another point would be that other people are not a part of your marriage, so never seek advice from them.” Subir Saha adds, “Faith and friendship are two factors that you just cannot do without in a marriage. While one should prioritise oneself, it is crucially important to prioritise one’s partner and relationship equally. Marriage can never be perfect but balancing is the key.”