Indian pacer S Sreesanth has now revealed that he in fact battled suicidal thoughts in 2013 after he was banned for life by the Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI) for his reported involvement in the spot-fixing scandal in Indian Premier League (IPL).
A couple of years later, he was acquitted of all charges by a special court in Delhi.
“It is something I battled with incessantly in 2013. It was there everywhere I turned, the easy way out, but my family kept me sane. I had to stick around for my family. I knew they needed me,” Sreesanth, part of India’s World Cup-winning squads in 2007 and 2011, was quoted as saying by Deccan Herald.
“That’s why the news of Sushant Singh’s (Rajput) death affected me so much, besides the fact that he was a good friend. I was on that edge but I walked back because I knew how much it would hurt those who believe in me and love me. I am writing a small book, it should be out in a month or so, about this episode and about how you’re not lonely. And how if you are lonely, it’s not necessarily a bad thing because great things can come from this space of loneliness.
“These moments of loneliness can give you rare insights into your own being. That’s huge because people don’t appreciate who they are. I don’t like talking about this but there was a time when I was struggling to pay my bills. I didn’t know where my next meal would come from. That’s why I am so grateful for all the shows that hired me and trusted in me,” said the 37-year-old.
The Kerala pacer is now looking to make a comeback in competitive cricket and may get to feature in the Kerala Side in the Ranji Trophy season that will begin later this year.