Dartmouth College, an eminent Ivy League institution in the United States, enrolls hundreds of Indian students every year and has a significant number of Indian faculty members and research scholars. Early September this year when the families of freshmen, the Dartmouth class of 2028, more than 1,200 young fresh faces, landed in Hanover to drop their children off for the beginning of their college journey, there was an atmosphere of excitement, pride, and no doubt a touch of nervousness.
This mixture of feelings, as I watched the ceremony live – streamed, was palpable and was captured and articulated by Lee Coffin, Dean of Admissions at Dartmouth College, when he addressed the parents of incoming freshmen, saying: “Be proud as you watch your child fly. Smile from afar. Give them space to experiment, and remember, we have Band-Aids when they trip.” The transition from high school to college is a milestone not only for students but also for parents. After years of guiding their children through school, a grueling application process, and campus visits to search for the best and most affordable college, parents are now faced the challenge of stepping back and trusting their child to navigate life more independently.
When Dean Coffin said, Let go and “watch your child fly,” he was reminding the parents to celebrate their children’s growth and readiness for the next adventure ~ in a zone of freedom and inevitable error. Dr. Karen Levin Coburn, coauthor of Letting Go: A Parent’s Guide to Understanding the College Years, advised that parents must move away from being supervisors of their child’s life to being empathetic observers because college is an immensely consequential time for students to learn self-reliance and problem solving skills. Parents should resist the tem ptation to step in when challenges arise. Give students space to manage things on their own. The poetic expression “Smile from afar” epitomises the delicate balance parents must strike. On the one hand, they want to remain involved and available, but on the other, they need to allow their children to establish their own routines and face challenges independently.
Even if they’re not physically present on campus, parents should feel assured knowing that they are still an essential part of their children’s support system. Students whose parents provide emotional support from a distance ~ without micromanaging ~ tend to develop better-coping mechanisms and greater resilience. Figuring things out often gives students the motivation to succeed. Dean Coffin’s mention of giving students “space to experiment” supports the view of many educational experts who emphasize that college is not only a time for academic growth, but also personal exploration. Students are exposed to new ideas, cultures, and perspectives, and it is essential for their development that they have the freedom to try new things ~ even if it means making mistakes along the way.
Julie Lythcott-Haims, author of How to Raise an Adult, says that helicopter parenting, where parents try to micromanage their child’s life can smother the development of critical life skills. In this sense, student advisors should encourage college students to take calculated risks and experiment with new subjects, new activities, and new friendships. What’s life without risk? Letting students experience small setbacks and learn from them can have lasting positive effects. A 2020 report from the National Survey of Student En gagement (NSSE) found that students who encountered and overcame setbacks during their first year of college demonstrated significantly higher levels of academic eng age ment and personal satisfaction by their senior year.
Dean Coffin’s final assurance ~ “We have Band-Aids when they trip” ~ should provide comfort to anxious parents. While students will inevitably encounter challenges, colleges, including Dartmouth, are well-eq uipped to offer support systems. From academic advisors to mental health services, universities provide a range of resources to help students navigate di fficulties. The rise in mental health awareness on campuses across the U.S. has led to an increase in the availability of counseling and wellness programmes. According to the American Psychological Association, nearly 60 per cent of college students experience some level of mental health distress during their first year. Schools like Dartmouth and others across the country have recognized this need and expanded their resources to ensure students receive the help they need when they face bumps in the road.
But some problems need more than Band-Aids. That’s what Dartmouth College President, Dr. Sian Beilock had on her mind. In her address to freshmen and their parents, she emphasized two of her most important initiatives, Dartmouth Dialogues and the Dialogue Project, a campus-wide programme that challenges students to think independently and develop skills for having open conversations about difficult and controversial topics in civility. But keeping in mind the events of the last spring, when pro-Palestinian student activists had put up “unauthorised encampments” on the college green that had led to unseemly police raids, arrests, and litigation, she admonished, “At Dartmouth, we will always defend free expression, but we’ll make it clear as well that one group does not have the right to disrupt the educational experience of another, that pro test, dialogue, can be important, but taking over shared spaces for one ideological view is not free expression. In fact, it robs others of it.”
The Dartmouth free speech policy follows the long-established delicate and judicious balance between the First Amendment and other fundamental rights, especially keeping in mind the landmark campus free speech case, Tinker v. Des Moines (1969), in which the US Supreme Court ruled that while students or teachers do not “shed their constitutional rights to freedom of speech or expression at the schoolhouse gate,” nevertheless the schools may limit student expression if it would “materially and substantially interfere with the requirements of appropriate discipline in the operation of the school.” Live free and speak free and let others also do.
(The writer is the author of India In A New Key: From Nehru To Modi)