Today in India, education and academics are the focal points of most of the parents. According to the leading psychologists, a pressure to excel in exams coming from the parents is one of the greatest causes for a child’s breakdown and failure. With the rise in peer competition, it is ok to guide children but does not push them to study beyond their capacity.
Who does not want to bring out the best from his/her child? However, putting pressure on children to perform well is not right. Some parents feel that if they won’t put enough pressure on their children to excel in exams, they may be less likely to do their best. Actually, this theory can have more negative consequences rather than doing good for your children. High amounts of pressure often lead to higher level of stress and that can further develop depression or another mental health issue in children. Pushing them to excel in the examination can damage their self-esteem. When they do not fulfil your expectations, they start feeling that they are not good enough. Many times, out of depression, they make an attempt to commit suicide, when they are unable to produce exceptional goals. Students who feel constant pressure to do well in exams may stay up late studying and as a result, they could not get enough sleep leading to a bad performance in exams. When the focus is on achieving good marks, kids may indulge in bad practices, such as cheating. When it comes to teenagers, parental pressure and resultant stress may translate into rebellion and children can get involved in undesirable practices like smoking, drug addiction etc.
The final exams of children are to start soon and needless to say lakhs of children and their parents across India have their stress mode on. Parents are the key player in their child’s performance during examination time. Few tips to keep your children stress-free during exams so that they can perform their best include:
· Give them nutritious food to keep them energised. Load their diet with plenty of fruits, vegetables, nuts, pulses and eggs.
· Keep them well-hydrated by encouraging them to drink plenty of water and healthy beverages like fresh fruit juices.
· Give your child a happy family environment and add doses of laughter and humour as much as possible so that he/she can stay calm and perform well in exams.
· Let him/her indulge in any de-stressing activity for some time during exams. It will stimulate your child’s energy and he/she will feel refreshed to study better afterwards.
· Rather putting pressure on children to perform well, inculcate some essential values, such as discipline and focus since very childhood.
· Introspect your interaction with your child. It should not be one-sided. Your behaviour should not be compelling, rather it should be understanding and inspiring.
· Keep encouraging your child boosting his confidence even if he is not able to fulfil your expectations. It is also your responsibility to teach your child to accept failure without losing heart and gear up again to grab new opportunities. Do not make a failure an occasion of mourning.
· Keep interacting with your child for any word of advice that can guide him/her or help strengthen his/her confidence. You can also get involved in solving doubts and difficulties of your children if you are capable to do so. Be there to help them by solving their queries. If you are not able to do so, guide them about how they can solve their doubts.
· During exam time, do not discourage your child by giving negative remarks, such as you are good for nothing or remember your previous hopeless performance and so on.
· Be calm during these days. If you are frustrated or angry due to your child’s inability or any other reason, do not take it out on your child. Deal with this situation peacefully. Encourage your child to meditate every day for a few minutes during exams and this practice should be followed by you as well.
· Do not discuss family problems in front of your children during exam time. Do not indulge in any arguments or disagreements with your spouse or any other family member as it can be distracting for the child and it may be adding to his/her stress level.
India has one of the highest suicide rates among students between the age of 14 to 25. Scoring less or failure is the reason behind it. Competitive parents make this situation even worse with constant comparisons and shaming their children. While as being parents, there seems to be no harm in desiring your child to perform well in exams, but do not build pressure on them. There have been increasing reports of students suffering from mental breakdowns and health issues due to examination stress. If your child gets top marks then great but if he/she does not, then do not take away their self-confidence. Tell them, no matter what they score, you love them and won’t judge them. Tell them its ok, it’s just an exam. Boost their morale, telling that they are meant for much bigger things in life. Do this and watch your children excelling in their respective field of choice. Stop thinking that only those who excel in studies remain happy in the world.
‘Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all’ – Aristotle