Love is a pure feeling. Once felt cannot be forgotten. The more we get, the more we want. People seek it all of their lives but seldom get enough of it. Some say it’s the thing that makes us feel alive. An infant would die, and an adult would become emotionally misshapen without it. There is a reason we all look for love, maybe because it’s essential for our overall wellbeing and happiness.
We all seek happiness —the world and the experiences of many great men and women tell us that being happy is the biggest accomplishment of life. Real and long-term happiness lies in what stays inside us—the feelings and the emotions.
We crave connection, belonging, and someone who can make us feel seen, cherished, and loved. Love shouldn’t be essentially coming from a romantic partner, it can be from friends, neighbors, family members, or even from any acquaintances.
Though we have landed on the Moon and the other planets, the matters of the human heart are still alien to us. Even the most profound doctors or even we cannot explain to our own sons and daughters— what and how exactly they feel or want? Who can be their best partners for life?
What is it? Love. Of course.
There are numerous definitions, but no one can define it completely. It is a feeling and every individual feels it differently. Till now, the subject of love is probably one of the most misunderstood subjects in the whole world.
Author of the book “Unconditional love”, Harold W. Becker said, “The greatest power known to man is that of unconditional love. Through the ages, mystics, sages, singers, and poets have all expressed the ballad and call to love. As humans, we have searched endlessly for the experience of love through the outer senses.”
Is love the greatest of our drives and motives, or is it among our weakest?
A psychologist, Abraham Maslow, who formulated the theory of motivation says that we are all driven by five motives– physiological needs, safety needs, belongingness and love needs, and self-actualization needs. The first and basic motivation is the strongest, and when the one is reasonably satisfied, we move on to yearning for the next.
Physiological needs are the most basic ones, like hunger, cold, thirst. Then we need to feel safe and secure, once we have those needs fulfilled we want to feel loved and cared for. Once the basic needs are fulfilled, people need affection, companionship to deal with loneliness, and to fulfill their sexual desires as well.
“It is not people we love, it is rather what the people or animals or things do for us that we love. If the person you love does not satisfy you in ways that are extremely important to you, it is my belief that you simply fall out of love with him or her,” says Dr. Paul Hauck, a clinical psychologist and the author of the book – How to love and be loved.
“Simply stated, unconditional love is an unlimited way of being. We are without any limit to our thoughts and feelings in life and can create any reality we choose to focus our attention upon. There are infinite imaginative possibilities when we allow the freedom to go beyond our perceived limits. If we can dream it, we can build it. Life, through unconditional love, is a wondrous adventure that excites the very core of our being and lights our path with delight.” – from Harold W. Becker in Unconditional Love – An Unlimited Way of Being.