“I cried in guilt”: Ram Gopal Varma’s emotional breakdown revisiting ‘Satya’

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Ram Gopal Varma recently revisited his 1998 cult classic ‘Satya’, a film that reshaped Indian cinema with its raw portrayal of Mumbai’s underworld.

The re-release of ‘Satya’ on January 17, alongside Kangana Ranaut’s ‘Emergency’ and Ajay Devgn’s ‘Azaad’, brought the iconic crime drama back to theaters.

Starring Manoj Bajpayee as Bhiku Mhatre and JD Chakravarthy as Satya, the film remains a masterpiece of storytelling, blending gritty realism with unforgettable performances. As audiences revisited the world of ‘Satya’, Ram Gopal Varma himself took a deeply emotional journey, watching the film for the first time in 27 years.

In a note shared on social media, Varma revealed how the experience moved him to tears. He described how he sat overwhelmed, tears streaming down his face, not only for the film’s brilliance but for the path his life and career took after its release.

Reflecting on his journey, he confessed that the success of ‘Satya’ and his earlier hit ‘Rangeela’ left him “blinded,” leading to a loss of creative direction.

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“By the time ‘Satya’ was rolling to an end, while watching it two days ago for the first time after 27 years, I started choking with tears rolling down my cheeks, and I didn’t care if anyone would see,” Varma wrote. “The tears were not just for the film but more for what happened since. Making a film is like giving birth to a child originating from the throes of passion, without truly realizing what kind of a child I am giving birth to.”

He admitted that his obsession with success caused him to lose sight of the essence of filmmaking. “When the bright lights of a ‘Rangeela’ or a ‘Satya’ blinded me, I lost my vision. I meandered into making films for shock value, gimmicks, or vulgar displays of technical wizardry—things equally meaningless,” he shared. Varma’s emotional reflection extended beyond his personal journey.

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He offered a wake-up call to fellow filmmakers, urging them to avoid the pitfalls of self-indulgence and remain true to their craft. “Technique can elevate content, but it can’t carry it,” he emphasized, acknowledging how he had strayed from this fundamental truth.

Varma’s post also included a promise to himself and his audience. He vowed to dedicate the rest of his life to creating something as meaningful as ‘Satya’. “This truth I swear on ‘Satya’,” he declared, underscoring his renewed commitment to storytelling that resonates with authenticity and depth.

Written by Saurabh Shukla and Anurag Kashyap, ‘Satya’ has been celebrated as a game-changer in Indian cinema. Its realistic portrayal of Mumbai’s underworld, combined with stellar performances, set a benchmark for the industry.

Alongside Manoj Bajpayee and JD Chakravarthy, the film featured Urmila Matondkar, Paresh Rawal, Shefali Shah, and others.